I figured that “Class of 2019” was a much more eloquent title to a blog than “hey y’all, this sh@$ just got real”.
Last night I attended freshman open house for my oldest, my baby girl. And as I sat in the auditorium listening the the graduation requirements vs. college readiness, the SMOD details, the purpose of “Freshman Focus”, it all went into one of those droning hums like we see on television. While the speakers shared, I had 13.9999 years whizzing by in my mind. And at that moment, I got it. I felt the angst my sister felt just days before as her baby drove away for the first time, I felt the hurt my sweet friend has described preparing for her oldest to go off to college in just a few short months, I got it…..like I never have before.
Then it came, the guilt, the sadness, the worry, that I hadn’t been the best I could possibly be for her. That I haven’t given all a mom should give because of work or school or whatever the distraction was on a given day. I heard the words of Jon Harper as he writes about the milestones that pass by each day without celebration and how we should embrace each day with our loved ones. I questioned all I had done for the last 13 years in trying to raise a kind, caring, strong willed young woman.
Then I turned, and she was there, watching me think. She came, hugged me and kissed me goodnight, said “I love you Mommy”, and up the stairs she went. There went my baby, a member of the Class of 2019….