Recently I’ve thought about gluttony in a much deeper sense than that in which I have always defined it. In the past gluttony was defined by an overindulgence with “stuff”; having and wanting lots of toys, cars, clothes, shoes, food, etc. But recently, I’ve thought about many places in my life where I have become gluttonous…all centered around time.
Personal Reflection: I crave time to read, think, and simply exist. However, life must continue around me. Although I’m not very good at it, I find I need to run more and more. The time alone, just me, my thoughts and the pavement allow the stressors of life to be resolved, or at least their intensity reduced.
Personal and Professional Growth: The older I become the wiser I want to be….the desire to truly make an impact on the world intensifies. To grow and learn in this matter means digging deeply into concepts that are foreign and learning to be comfortable with the frustration that is a know outcome of those spaces for me. Growing and learning also take time, but they also lead to deeper emotional energy being expended in areas where it could or should be spent elsewhere.
Feeling Deeply: I would say I have always been deeply passionate about life. From the smallest things like crying every time I see the mother die in a Disney movie to tears over issues of social justice to loving those around me so deeply it hurts. When I worked daily in a school there were daily opportunities for those emotions to have a safe and justified place in the world. Now, because those windows of opportunity are few, I find myself digging emotionally deeper into the spaces that do still exist.
So I sit in conflict with wanting time, opportunities for growth, and to feel deeply and functioning as society defines my roles as a woman, mother, wife, and professional.
How does one find that delicate balance to all life has to offer in a world so filled with richness around every corner?